Stop Doubting Yourself

By | February 23, 2016

By the time you are done reading this you will know how to stop doubting yourselfconfidence

Lets look at why we doubt ourselves. Now imagine that there is this boy , Tommy who is nine years old. He joins the basketball team and he has a hard time learning to dribble the ball , but he finally learns. Now at the end of a game his coach puts him in and he gets the ball passed to him and he freezes because he is scared to dribble the ball. Later, after the game two of his team mates pick on him for just standing there with the ball.

Now comes baseball season and Tommy is having trouble hitting the ball, he knows that if this happens in a game , he will be picked on , just like in basketball. This is where Tommy starts to doubt himself. His confidence in his ability to play sports is no longer there.

And if someone doesn’t help him overcome this than the next new thing he wants to try, he may not because his self doubt may stop him.

It reminds me of my grand daughter, who is great at riding horses. She was bucked off her horse and because she did not get back on that horse or another one for a while, she became scared to ride.

Even though she was a good rider, she no longer felt that way anymore. And when she did finally get back on a horse she was not the same rider. Her confidence was gone. She now doubted her riding ability. I had to work with her for quite a while before she stopped being scared and just relaxed again.

Those of course are just a few examples of how self doubt can start. But once it is started it can carry over into different areas of our lives.

So how do we stop it?

Well, we have to pay attention to when it happens and then ask ourselves some questions like – what am I afraid of? Am I afraid of someone seeing me make a mistake or be wrong about something or just fail at something? Then ask, what is the worst thing that could happen?

At this point we are just trying to find some answers to why we are doubting ourselves. Once you figure out what area or areas your confidence is lacking in you will be able to start fixing it.

Next, look at the areas you need to build confidence in and find some small thing in that area that you doubt you can do and work on it until you succeed. It is best to do this when you are alone so you don’t feel like you are being judged.

Then pick another small thing and accomplish that too. Continue this with other stuff. As you gain more confidence in yourself, you will doubt yourself less and less.

Make sure when you do this, you start with small things that you only doubt a little and work your way up to the bigger things that you doubt about yourself.

When you are there, you will feel like a new person and you will be ready to tackle things that you have always wanted to do, but lacked the confidence to do them.

But always remember one thing, Mistakes are just a way of life. They are there for us to learn from.

So the next time something happens that would normally attack your confidence, look at it differently and ask yourself, what is this trying to teach me? Or what can I learn from this?

A person who has confidence can accomplish so much just because they know they can, so stop doubting yourself and start doing what you desire to do.

There will always be things that we are good at and things that we aren’t so good at.  It is just the way life is. If you accept yourself for who you really are, you will find confidence that you never knew you had.

“If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” Thomas Alva Edison

If you have any question or would like to leave a comment, you can do so below.

10 thoughts on “Stop Doubting Yourself

  1. Imad

    Hello, Gloria.

    It’s true that doubt begins with just little and insignificant things. Just like in the story of Tommy, it spread out to many areas of his life. It’ like a disease that we should stop and cure as soon as we notice the symptoms.

    Noticing the exact moment when we start doubting ourselves is crucial because it’s the moment where we can find the remedy and get rid of it once and for all.

    My favourite technique is remembering the past experiences when I was able to accomplish great things without any fear or hesitation. My self-awareness and self-confidence grow each time I overcome that feeling or doubt.

    Regards,
    Imad

    1. Gloria

      Hi Imad,

      Thanks for your comment. I love it when people tell me that they have found a way to notice when something could harm their confidence and then when they know how to stop it from doing that.

  2. Erin

    Hi Gloria,

    I really like this article. First, you flow from start to finish in such a nice and conversational way that I did not even look up from the text while reading the article. What a great writing style!

    Second, your message is incredibly important. Mental doubts can prevent us from doing so many things. I like the story of your granddaughter, and I am glad you were able to help her ride again. I hope she eventually got more into riding again.

    I think your mind set jives really well with a book called Psycho-cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. Just an idea if you want to check it out. I wrote a review of it on my website. Just so you know before you actually buy that it isn’t the most fun read, but has some important messages.

    Great job at the writing,
    Erin

    PS. I really like the subtitle of your website. Get rid of the “garbage” made me laugh.

    1. Gloria

      Hi Erin,

      Thanks so much for your kind words. When you are writing about something that you truly believe in it makes it easy to write.

      I feel confidence is so important that when we are lacking in that area it tends to not let us be who we really are. My granddaughter found her joy in riding again. Although it did take a lot of work. It’s amazing how something can happen so fast and put us backwards so quickly.

      I will be sure to check out the book Psycho-cybernetics, although you did not leave me your website address.

  3. Cj

    Hi Gloria,

    This is a very important subject and I feel everyone should read an article like this.

    To me, confidence is probably THE MOST important thing to have. In everything you do, you should have confidence and you should trust yourself. Believe in yourself.

    Thank you for this inspiring post.

    Regards,

    Cj

    1. Gloria

      Hi Cj,

      I totally agree, without confidence , you are held back and it should not be that way. I hope more people will see that confidence is a skill that we can learn and one we need to make sure we are gaining on and not going backwards as we face challanges.

  4. Laurie

    Gloria, this article is helpful for so many challenges in life. It seems much easier to lose one’s confidence than to build it back up again once it’s been damaged. I like the idea of concentrating on small accomplishments so we can show ourselves, once again, that we are capable.

    1. Gloria

      Hi Laurie,

      Yes, confidence is something we can lose fast if we are not paying attention to how we feel about different things that happen to us. There can be many aspects to it. We need to learn to know ourselves so that things don’t affect us.

  5. Liz

    A very important topic Gloria, and I feel subjects like this should be taught in school. I recently did a course that talked about subjects like this. The class was based around self hypnosis and the teacher talked a lot about how our mind and body respond to the way we consciously talk to ourselves. One thing that stood out to me in one of the lessons is that successful people who master an area in life work on that area every single day without a plan of taking a break until they find success, even if that means that on one of the days they only spend 5-10 minutes on it. It is all about building the momentum which therefore results in them having less self doubt.

    1. Gloria

      I agree with you totally! All schools should teach this kind of material to kids. I know that Andy Shaw – The author of Creating a Bug Free Mind is working on a plan to present to schools. Thanks for the comment.

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